i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
