he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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