I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
