Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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