you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
