so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
