I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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