she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
