It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize