Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
