Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
