I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
