we're blogging at a bar
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
