i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
