I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
