Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How does one acquire holy water?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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