well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
