we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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