I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
