Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
