He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
