And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
