Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize