??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
barbara walters just said penis...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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