he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
