if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
