I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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