Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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