so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
