she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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