Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
