im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize