What tipped you off? The sombrero?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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