she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
