I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
