i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
