you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
