let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
