I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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