Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize