The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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