chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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