Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize