The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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