I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
