12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
