I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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