you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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