She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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