Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
cat food counts as protein by the way
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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