How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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