Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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