Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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