I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
