i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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