I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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