Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
