You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just fell off a train. Bad.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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