So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had to cum in my sink.
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